~Joseph Chilton Pearce
When I was young, foolish and ambitious, I was asked by my father which kind of life would I seek? Was I looking forward to a life of adventure, passion, deep valleys and high mountaintops or one of quiet contentment and extreme happiness?
A life filled with harrowing adventure and great passion was much more appealing to me than a life of what I perceived to be utter boredom and I made my choice based on that perception. Consequently, while I have never known quiet contentment, nor extreme happiness, I have experienced challenging adventures and great passions. Looking back, I realize there is a profound truth to the theory that we live our lives as we perceive ourselves. I now think I would like to have known both.
Dad also said: "I am not what I think I am and I am not what you think I am. But I am what I think you think I am."
When I scratched my head in bewilderment, he told me to give it some thought and then tuck it away for future reference. Now, finally, I think I understand.
Our behavior, attitudes, and perceptions are dictated by who we think others perceive us to be and who we think we are dictates the choices we make. Those choices define and strengthen our own unique identity.
I perceived myself to be a strong, independent and capable woman and I have made my choices accordingly. There were times when I lost sight of that perception and the grief I suffered spilled over into the lives of those I love. Lost and alone, I have had to battle my way back to self twice in this lifetime. While the victory was hard won, it was well worth the effort.
I am older now - hopefully, wiser and just a wee bit weary. The lessons learned have come, not from joy and laughter, wonderful as those times were and certainly necessary to the health and well-being of one's soul, but from grief, sorrow, and heartache.
When my youngest son broke his arm at the age of seven, the doctor told us that the broken bone would be stronger because of the break. Perhaps the same is true of the heart. I hope that's the case.
My mother once said that the more people you invite into your life, the bigger your heart grows, and the more you give of yourself, the more you receive of life's glorious abundance. I've forgotten the times she missed the mark, (she was human after all), but she was an extraordinary woman. I remember her words of wisdom and I try to live by them.
Whatever has happened in the past or will happen in the future, my first perceptions are the ones I return to embrace each and every time. Now, many years, two husbands, three children and several grandchildren later, I am able to look back on a life filled with stunning abundance. So, when times are hard or lonely and I ask myself if I would make the same choices again, the answer must always be a resounding "Yes!"
My writing is a reflection of my life and my perceptions.
